I sent an email last night to a former colleague of mine, one of the nations foremost authorities on bipolar disorder. I was sharing with him my premise of the danger of bipolar disorder that goes far beyond suicide. He responded:
Also, I’d be very interested to see how you develop your thoughts on [...]
It’s been an agitated weekend. I have been agitated all weekend so far. I’m satisfied with what I’ve accomplished, I got some Christmas lights installed, and completely backed up 2 computers. Doesn’t sound like much? Welcome to my world, it’s been a productive few days.
Now at the risk of [...]
My wife saw Ryan twice today. One time well enough to recognize what he was wearing. The second time was fleeting. She was so sure of herself, I have no doubt of her sincerity. She was putting up Christmas decorations today, and Ryan loved the holidays. I’m really not surprised.
I look sometimes at the search strings that bring people to this and my other sites. I’ve seen some unusual search strings, but none quite as disturbing as I found today. A person that asked Google:
Will obama take SSDI away from BIPOLAR people?
HELL no!
It’s been a difficult day, and rather than spend the time bringing that back, I’m going to tell a good memory. There are many to choose from, and I’ll take a moment now to decide which one for tonight.
OK, I’m back, and I have one.
At the time we were an outdoor family. We [...]
I have zero desire to sleep right now, even though I need to. It’s time for a grief update. It’s possible that not all of these things are related to grief, but they are all ways my life has changed recently.
First, I am eating obsessively. I have put on a lot of [...]
Some may have heard of Jeff Buckley, he was an incredible singer, he sang the definitive version of that beautiful song “Hallelujah” that has been recorded so many times. He died at age 30 of bipolar disorder. Don’t believe you can die of bipolar disorder? My son did, and Jeff Buckley did [...]
Last night I was talking to my wife. She was talking about how Ryan had been coming to her in her dreams. I mentioned how it wasn’t happening to me, but then I have rarely slept more than about 4 hours a night since he died, and those 4 hours are only with sleeping pills. [...]
With luck it won’t be long before my mood picks up and changes. At that time I can start to put all parts of my life back together. I’ll start to be more health-conscious, start to eat better, get back to the gym and get into shape, focus and perform better at work. [...]
My wife had a dream about Ryan last night. We were in an airport, and he was ready to board a plane. He was not only happy, he was perfect. His clothes, his hair, his demeanor, his posture, his confidence – everything was there. He is happy. Karen woke up just bubbling with happiness. I [...]
